Honesty Is The Best Policy

As a teen, do you ever stop and think about what it means to be honest, to tell the truth or to "not lie"?   Does being honest also mean you can stretch the truth in some way to better meet your needs or make your story sound better?  When you find yourself in the middle of a situation or story where being honest may mean you will get in trouble, lose a friend, miss out on an opportunity or not get what you may want, what do you do?  Do you have a two-second conversation in your mind about honesty, defined as freedom from deceit or fraud, or do you eliminate any time to consider how honesty or dishonesty will play out in your actions and just do or say what will present you in the best light or get you what you want?  Are you honest with your friends, your teachers, your parents?  Are you honest even when you know it may lead to a negative outcome or consequence?  What is most important to you....being truthful and building respect or being untruthful and building distrust and possibly animosity?  It's important to take more than two seconds to consider this and consider how honesty plays a major factor in determining your reputation and how others may view you.  

I wonder how much honesty is discussed at breakfast tables, in classrooms, at dinner tables or in sunday school?  I wonder this because I witness everyday teens making decisions where choosing to be honest or dishonest usually dictates what happens next. In my opinion, too many choose a stretch of the truth or dishonesty, usually out of fear of a consequence or fear of losing something of value, maybe a friend, object or reputation.  Choosing to be honest because it is the RIGHT thing to do may not always be the first consideration or an automatic thought.  Why is this?  Is it because of what they witness or is it because not enough value is placed on honesty?

To be fair to teens, they live in a society where they constantly see examples of adults who choose dishonesty.  They see adults choose dishonesty on TV, at school, at church, on the sports field, at home, in magazines and most other places where they find themselves.  They see adults choose dishonesty to gain something, to look better or to avoid trouble or some kind of negative consequence.  When they observe the adults in their lives choosing dishonesty, what are they to do?  How are they to understand the mixed messages that are being sent and still make the right choice?  There are many stories from teens who recount times when they knew a parent, relative, teacher or other important adult KNOWINGLY chose dishonesty.  What is the message we, the adults, are sending to teens and young people about honesty?  If they see the adults in their lives choosing dishonesty without hesitation or apprehension, why should they choose something different?  The adults set the examples in their lives, modeling the behavior we would like for them to repeat.

The message for teens and young people is this:  Sometimes the adults in your life may not always make the best choices or decisions.  Sometimes they are not honest.  Sometimes they do not tell the truth.  Sometimes they do lie.  It is important to admit to teens and young people that sometimes adults behave in this manner.  It's also important to admit that young people and teens are placed in binds when the adults in their lives behave dishonestly but require the young people and teens to behave honestly.  It's important for everyone, adults and young people, to realize the importance of honesty and it's impact on the lives of others.  Sometimes adults don't always remember this fact and maybe teens and young people are in an ideal position to remind them.  People are watching what you are doing and saying.  Remember that you are a role model to some person, whether young or older.  People remember when you are honest AND when you are dishonest and form opinions about you based upon your honesty or dishonesty.  Choosing to be honest teens and young people usually leads to adults who are responsible, accountable, dependable and respected.  How do you want others to view you?  As an honest person or as an dishonest person?  Do you want others to be able to depend on you and believe what you say?  If your answer is in the positive, if you want others to view you positively, depend on you and believe what you say, then there is one thing to remember:  honesty is the best policy.