Teen or Adult?

Hello All!!  It's been a very busy few weeks.  Everyday is a different day and everyday I seem to learn more from the young people with whom I have fairly regular contact.  I say it often and I will say it once more:  It's hard work being a teenager in these times.  The world is very busy.  The country is very busy.  Schools are very busy.  Parents are very busy.  With everyone being so busy, who is watching over and guiding our teenagers?  Are we, the adults, doing a "good enough" job of helping them become good decision-makers, good scholars, good, productive, healthy individuals, and good stewards of service to others?  What messages are we sending to our teens about what's really important in life?  Are we allowing them to be teenagers, those people in constant need of structure and guidance or are we pushing them too quickly, emotionally unprepared into the adult world?

That is a question I ask myself more than I feel I should. However, I speak with many teens who are left to make adult choices and decisions, sometimes leading to unwanted or predictable consequences. Consequences which too often are not positive for them.  Why do some parents leave their teenage children alone with unrelated adults for long periods of time?  Why do some parents leave their teenage children home alone for days at a time?  Why do some parents leave their teenage children, particularly females, in malls, street corners etc. with the "expectation" that their teen WOULD NEVER do something inappropriate or dangerous?  Why do some parents allow their teenage children to have their own computer in their room (password protected) with the door constantly closed, even when they are present in the room?  Why do some parents involve their teenage children in adult discussions with their friends?  Why do some parents involve their teenage children in the intricacies of their personal lives, particularly their romantic relationships?  Why do some parents share inappropriate information with their teenage children about the other parent, particularly in divorce or contentious situations? 

I ask these questions because I hear from teens often how they are put in adult situations, most often by their parents, when it is convenient for the parent.  However, these same parents become agitated and angry when these same teens project adult-like behavior when it is inconvenient or embarrassing for the parent.  This leads to what is referred to as "mixed messaging".  Parents, in particular, are guilty of this and their teens are left confused and unsure of their themselves and their decision-making.  In short, parents cannot give their children adult responsibilities when it is convenient for them and then become upset and punitive when that same child independently exhibits adult behavior at a time that is clearly inappropriate.  Teens have to remain teens at all times.  It's a stage in life.  A stage with its own set of learning curves.  Let's not take that away from our precious young people.  Too much responsibility too soon can be detrimental.  It takes away from what should be central in their lives:  school, education, their friends, and their interests.